scared

Tonight I am flipping between excitement and nerves....I don't even have a date yet and I get these little panic episodes worried about surgery. EEEEK! I believe in God so I try to pray about it and pray that if I am not meant to have this surgery that the doors would close for me and if I am meant to have the surgery that all will go smoothly. I also wrote letters to my family just in case anything happens. I hate to be so morbid but I did have the near fatal pulmonary embolism 2 years ago and since then these things have been on my mind.
    On the other hand I am very excited to start my new life!!! I want to play with my children, run around with them and play like a kid again....SWINGS here I come!!! Life! Here I come!!