I went to the hematologist today, something I do every 2 weeks and discussed weight loss surgery with them. They told me that I was going to be on blood thinners for the rest of my life....which was really disappointing...really! I thought if I was to lose weight that I would be able to go off the blood thinners and feel like a normal person again. I have my blood drawn every 2 weeks right now....and doing that for the rest of my life just seems so frustrating.
I am mad at myself, I feel like if I had never gained this weight I would never had a pulmonary embolism and I would not be in this boat. I feel so worthless right now....just HUGE and fat and ashamed of myself. I know this isn't a very uplifting blog but it's real. This is how being fat really is. Fat causes diseases and I feel like I brought my problems on myself and now I'm feeling overwhelmed like this hole is too big to dig myself out of this time...like I've too far gone. I mean, I am just so big...and I really feel like a waste of space today.
So much for being motivational huh? sorry ya'll....I just had to vent
Blessings ~
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3 years ago
This really moved me. I have a few rare illnesses and I completely understand this post to my core. It aint over til its over, sister. Try to hang tight for now and "be" around some people who can help buoy you right now. In FACT---come to twitter or meet me in FB so I can introduce you to a set of the best chicks EVER
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